dangerhamster:

blinkingkills:

thevoiceofbenedictcumberbatch:

the-vashta-natasha:

I think we need to invent a game called ‘shatner’

Someone yells ‘SHATNER’ at you and then you have to overact whatever you were doing

image

this is like the less dangerous version of infomercial

I played this in Uni the other day and the guy behind me flung himself off his chair and into the wall

kaptainferret:

queergh0st:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

and like, outside the bible, in the real world, where born kids die and are even ACTUALLY murdered every day

"do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like?" 
is one of the best arguments

kaptainferret:

queergh0st:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

and like, outside the bible, in the real world, where born kids die and are even ACTUALLY murdered every day

"do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like?"

is one of the best arguments

(Source: atheismblog)

ofbard:

the box says “four servings” but my heart says one

(Source: wadewilsn)

toastdurr:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

hELL YES

image

(Source: trashboat)

mondoodoo:

so i was looking up off bug spray ads and i was expecting to see some lady on a lawn chair with a bottle of bug spray but instead i saw

image

then i came across this gem

image

and this last one was pure gold

image

god bless you off bug spray

(Source: missedea)

pimpdaddytavros:

i want to be rebellious but i dont want to get in trouble  

maxkirin:

Neil Gaiman’s 8 Rules of Writing, a remake of this post. Source.

Want more writerly content? Make sure to follow maxkirin.tumblr.com for your daily dose of writer positivity, advice, and prompts!

lavenderharmony:

ejaculot:

when u see people having fun and you want to join but ur just like

image

I relate to this so hard it’s upsetting me

marvelatperfection:

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out

Hello, satan. 

knitmeapony:

My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.

"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."

"Okay, new yoga pose.  It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."

"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."